All or Nothing: How Ambivalence and Indifference Shape the Initiation, Maintenance, and Dissolution of Romantic Relationships

Vollständiger Abstract

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ABSTRACT From the first encounter to the final farewell, people are constantly evaluating their romantic partners. While empirical studies have predominantly examined experiences of either positive or negative partner evaluations, theoretical work has recognized that people can also feel ambivalent (simultaneously positive and negative) and indifferent (neither positive nor negative) toward their partners. Importantly, ambivalence and indifference are likely to trigger specific processes and outcomes throughout the course of a romantic relationship that are distinct from the consequences of having mostly positive or mostly negative partner evaluations. However, research has yet to systematically examine how these neglected, but impactful, evaluative states shape relationship development. To this end, we review and theorize about the likely outcomes of ambivalence and indifference across three key contexts in romantic relationships: relationship initiation, relationship maintenance, and relationship dissolution. Overall, we propose that ambivalence functions as a source of relational turbulence—it stimulates questions around compatibility with a potential partner during relationship initiation, fluctuations and unpredictability during the maintenance of established relationships, and deliberation and distress around relationship dissolution. In contrast, we propose that indifference is an unstimulating, relatively passive state in relationships—it is linked to low investment in relationship initiation, boredom and low effort during relationship maintenance, and disengagement and withdrawal during relationship dissolution. These insights shed new light on how people might feel toward their romantic partners throughout relationship development and provide a foundation for essential future research on ambivalence and indifference in developing, established, and dwindling romantic relationships.